Should I Text Him First

Should you text a guy first? Most of you that follow my blogs or articles know I am not an advocate of this, but nothing ventured nothing gained. Maybe he is shy, maybe he doesn't know if you are interested. If you are thinking this way and you feel you must text him, go ahead, but follow these guidelines below.

Text him once. Be witty and light. Be fun. Don't send a lame good morning or how is your day. If you can't be creative, step away from the phone. You don't want to come across as dull or boring. You want to grab his attention.

Second don't engage in a texting marathon. If he replies and appears to be happy to hear from you, a couple texts back and forth is enough. He now knows you are interested, stop while you are ahead. When texting guys, less is more. If you can leave him with a positive feeling, and don't go into overkill, chances are he may want to talk with you again.

If the guy doesn't text you back, don't text him again. You just showed him your interest, anything more will come across as desperate.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine had a guy give her his number. He put it in her phone. He did not get her number. Now we all say this means he isn't interested, but that is not always the case. She had to text him first. There was no other way to see if he was or was not interested. She alluded to something they talked about and hit the send button. He texted her back immediately.

She did not engage him in marathon texting. She remained mysterious and she kept him guessing. She ended the conversation quickly. Next day he started texting her. Fast forward a week and they had their first date.

There are times when texting first in appropriate. As long as you don't become a pest and chase him, it's all good when texting a guy first. Be sensible about it and play it cool.

Some guys need a little encouragement. Text him first by tossing him the ball and see if he serves it back, but never serve it twice if he isn't returning.

Should You Text a Guy First or Not?

Should you text a guy first or not? Of course it's not going to hurt anything to text him, except the way he views you that is. If you text him first, you will never really know if he was interested in you or not. If you text him first, well he sees you as available and he automatically knows you are into him. This is investing in him before he invests in you. Not a good idea. Men value what they have to work for. If you text him, well you just made it easy and decreased your value in his eyes.

When you text a guy first, you deprive him of the thrill of the chase and you don't get to experience that excitement you feel when he texts you first.  

Ask yourself this question. Is he stressing about if he wants to text or call you? I seriously doubt it. Is he asking his buddies should he text you, should he call you? Probably not. Guys just don't really do that. Their time table is different. A day to us seems like forever, but to them it's nothing. If you text him first you are not trusting him that he will contact you first. Guys need to feel trusted in their ability to lead.  If you lead for him, you just killed that.

You see when you text him first, it can come across as controlling.  A big downfall of many women is that they don't trust the guy to lead, and they take over and start doing the pursuing.  This feels like control to a guy and it causes them to lose interest.  

When you start texting a guy who is not texting you first you might as well wave a flag that says "pick me, pick me". How attractive is that? It's always best to mirror his level of commitment. If he is texting you, sure text him back, but if he is not, step away from the phone. Be patient. If you are asking all your girlfriends "Should I text him first", stop. Think long term satisfaction, instant gratification is short lived.

A few weeks ago I went out with my best single girlfriend. She met this great guy. He seemed so into her. They had an amazing connection. They danced, talked, laughed and at the end of the night he got her number. Hmmmm, what happened, he didn't call. Three days later she calls me and asks, "should I text him?" My answer, "No".

Now 10 days go by. She held firm to my advice. Guess what? Yep, he texted her and called. Men are getting used to being texted by women. They are getting used to women doing their work for them because so many women act on their insecurities and fall into this trap. When you do his job for him, you fall into masculine energy.  It's Feminine Energy that attracts men!

Texting a Guy First is Masculine Energy

When a woman is not so anxious he finds her more attractive. He thinks this one is different, she doesn't have to chase me. Perhaps someone is chasing her. Competitiveness will drive a man into action. Think about how he views you next time you ask the question, should I text him first. Never ever text a guy first especially in the early days. Let him enjoy the chase, it's what they do.

For texting and calling techniques that will build the attraction in a guys mind click here.

Should I Text Him? Should I Call Him?

It happens all the time. A man gets your number and never calls, or calls a few times and then stops. We think what did I do, was it something I said. Why did he lose interest, did he meet someone else. Maybe I should call him so he won't forget me. If you have been down this road before, you are not alone, we all have. First and foremost, don't look for excuses to call him, if he wants to talk to you, his finger are not broken, I promise. So why don't men call?

Perhaps he gave you his number and asked you to call or text him. He asked you to, so why not? First off usually when a man gives you his number, he is really not all that interested. If a man is interested, he will get your number and call you. Men usually give their number to women that they may just want to keep on a back burner somewhere. If they see a woman as intriguing and possible someone they would like to get to know, rest assured they will get your number. So that being said, no, don't call, don't text. This will up your value in his eyes, he will see you are not desperate for his attention and next time he just may get your number.

Was he calling or texting regularly and then just stopped? If this is the case, do nothing. If you contact him, it shows him he is in control, he has you where he wants you. You would not be calling or texting him if you were not bothered by his lack of contact. This shows a man that you want to be with him more than he wants to be with you. Not a good place to be in a relationship. Calling or texting men often gives you the adverse affect to what you want.

Last but not least, he got your number and never called, never texted. The answer to this is no do nothing, no contact, just say next. If you have to chase a man, nothing good will come of it. You will be chasing and doing all the work for the duration of your relationship. Stop stressing over "Should I call or text him" and start focusing on why he should contact you.

The rules for calling and not calling men are very confusing. These phone calls play a huge part in how your relationship will or will not progress. There are ways and techniques to turn these phone calls and texts around and get him and keep him calling and texting.