Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Should I Text Him First or Not

should i text him first

Of course it's not going to hurt anything to text him, except the way he views you that is. If you text him first, you will never really know if he was interested in you or not. If you text him first, well he sees you as available and he automatically knows you are into him. This is investing in him before he invests in you. Not a good idea. Men value what they have to work for. If you text him, well you just made it easy and decreased your value in his eyes.

Ask yourself this question. Is he stressing about if he wants to text or call you? I seriously doubt it. Is he asking his buddies should he text you, should he call you? Probably not. Guys just don't really do that. Their time table is different. A day to us seems like forever, but to them it's nothing. If you text him first you are not trusting him that he will contact you first. Guys need to feel trusted in their ability to lead.  If you lead for him, you just killed that.

When you start texting a guy who is not texting you first you might as well wave a flag that says "pick me, pick me". How attractive is that? It's always best to mirror his level of commitment. If he is texting you, sure text him back, but if he is not, step away from the phone. Be patient. If you are asking all your girlfriends "Should I text him", stop. Think long term satisfaction, instant gratification is short lived.

A few weeks ago I went out with my best single girlfriend. She met this great guy. He seemed so into her. They had an amazing connection. They danced, talked, laughed and at the end of the night he got her number. Hmmmm, what happened, he didn't call. Three days later she calls me and asks, "should I text him?" My answer, "No".

Now 10 days go by. She held firm to my advice. Guess what? Yep, he called. Men are getting used to being texted by women. They are getting used to women doing their work for them because so many women act on their insecurities and fall into this trap. When a woman is not so anxious he finds her more attractive. He thinks this one is different, she doesn't have to chase me. Perhaps someone is chasing her. Competitiveness will drive a man into action. Think about how he views you next time you ask the question, should I text him. Never ever text a guy first. Let him enjoy the chase, it's what they do.

For texting and calling techniques that will build the attraction in a guys mind click here.

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