Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Texts to Make Him Feel Good

texts to make him feel good

Face it, men fall in love because of the way you make them feel. It only stands to reason that you want to send texts to make him feel good as well right?

Men need what I call the three A's to feel good.  They need to be appreciated, accepted and they crave affection.  If this is the case, then why not use texting as a tool to create triggers in men to these feelings.  It only makes sense.  Be creative when you text him and keep these three A's in your mind.

Men want romance, but the macho side of them often keeps them held back.  You can send texts that can make a man feel safe.  When he feels safe, he feels he has permission to be more romantic or even mushy because you have shown him you accept him.

Please note here if you are just beginning to date a man, use caution with these texts, they can back fire if used incorrectly and push him away.  You don't want to come across as too accommodating or needy. You also don't want to get ahead of him.  Let him lead. 

An example of one of these texts is pretty simple.  Lets say you had a great night last night if you know what I mean.  Simply text him mid day with something like this "You were amazing last night".  This tells him that he made you happy and men love to make women happy.  It also shows appreciation.   You can be very specific in this also.  Tell him exactly what he did that was so amazing.  Positive reinforcement.  Works like a charm.

I am not saying to text him empty compliments, be sincere but be creative.  Don't waste your text messages on things like "How is your day?".  This does not create a trigger that makes him feel good.  You want him to associate your texts with feeling good.  Triggers, it's all about triggers.  If you text him mundane things and he is busy at work, he may resent your text on a subconscious level.

So before you hit the send button, ask yourself if you are making him feel appreciated and good.  Are you making him smile.  Or you recreating memories.  This will help bond a man to you.

If you want to perfect this art of texting a man to increase passion and romance, Michael has a great program called Text the Romance Back It's worth checking into.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Al He Wants to Text About Is Sex

When a guy predominately texts about sex and very little else, it makes a girl wonder. Is sex all he is after? It sure seems that way. If you have engaged him prior in sex talk or sexting, it's hard to take it back. Guys don't like the rules changed in the middle of the game. If he is texting you about sex, I am assuming that you did in fact participate once upon a time. If you didn't and he is still doing it, get rid of him.

First no one dates to not have sex. It's normal. It's not really normal though to text a woman about it all the time. He does it because you have allowed it. Most guys will at least try to go there. They do this often as a qualifying process. They want to know if the woman they are talking to is relationship material or a fling material. The women that engage in this sexting and put up no boundaries are the ones they usually categorize as a fling.

If you did it all in fun, but regret it now and want to turn it around, there are several ways to go about it. The first way is more back door type. You can try this before you actually address it. When he texts you about sex, just don't answer him or when you do, change the subject. No explanation is needed. Trust me, he knows what he is doing wrong. He should slow it down after a few attempts that aren't met with reciprocation. He should get the hint.

Ah but a lot of men just don't get the hint and you will need to be more direct about this. The first thing you can text back is "Is it normal for you to talk about sex all the time with women?". This will make him evaluate. It also calls him out in a non blaming way. You are just asking a question. How is he going to answer? If he answers yes, then he looks like a douche bag. If he answers no, the door is now open for you to ask, "Then why do you do it to me?" If he answers with a lame reason, just send back, "Oh", or don't answer.

It's up to you to break him of this and establish yourself out of the fling category. If he stops texting you have your answer. He just wanted sex. I would be willing to bet that you will get an apology out of him if you handle this correctly, not to mention move out of the fling zone.

Are you breaking all the texting rules with guys? Your texting habits tell guys all sorts of things about you that you may not be aware of.  Are you textually appealing?

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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

How To Be Mysterious Texting Guys

It's human nature to love a mystery.  It's the unknown that we often find attracts us to another.  Think about it really.  How much time do you spend analyzing a man?  You do this because of what you don't know, all the while creating a bit of fantasy in your head.  Men are the same way, trust me.  It's what they don't know that keeps them coming back for more.  You can use this to your advantage by creating mystery when texting guys.

So when learning how to be mysterious texing a guy, remember this golden rule.  Less is more.  It's the girl that engages in a text marathon that quickly loses his attention.  She is too available, to much of an open book and this offers him no challenge, not to mention there is nothing mysterious about texting a guy constantly.  If you really like him, this will be harder for you.  You want to talk, connect and chat.  Just remember, you have time.  Don't rush it.  Long term satisfaction over instant gratification.

The little smiley emoticon is one little trick I use to be mysterious when texing a guy.  When he texts a compliment or something that makes me smile, instead of engaging in too much conversation, I just send a smiley face.  This tells him he made me smile and gives him reinforcement.  It also leaves him wondering.  It's just enough to make him try again.  His goal is to get more from you.  It's mysterious to him because most girls just babble on and on.  You don't, why are you different is what he starts to think.

Have you ever noticed that the guys that you don't really like as much seem to be impossible to get rid of while the ones you do disappear more often?  This really isn't a coincidence.  Chances are you are giving more to the guy you like and less to the guy you don't.  You become a challenge to the guy you don't, he is intrigued as you seem elusive and mysterious.  The guy you do like, you are jumping every time your phone goes off and answering him immediately because you are so exited.  Challenge and mystery gone.  So it only makes sense if you want to text a guy and be myserious, text with him like you would a guy who you don't fancy so much.

This takes self control yes.  Once you practice these techniques though and begin to see results, it reinforces that it does work.  It begins to become second nature.  You are in essence training yourself with your own reward system.  Wait to text him, don't be so eagar, be cool, hold back some, and watch him move forward to find out more about you. It feels good. Texting guys is a great way to escalate attraction, use it wisely.

Be friendly and receptive, but don't give too much too soon away in your texts.  We often try to control the outcome.  We share too much when texing a guy way too fast.  A slow simmer tastes better than a rapid boil.  Less is more when texting guys and building that air of mystery.


When Texting Guys - Stop Doing This

The use of that laugh out loud, also known as lol at the end of your text could be hurting you.  Do you know people that can't send a text message without putting this at the end of it?  I know I do.  It drives me crazy.  I get a visual of the person sending it laughing at everything, even things that aren't funny.  Not a pretty picture.  Men are visual creatures.  Need I say more.

I know it sounds silly but really think about it.  When texting a guy do you need to tell him you find something funny.  Try substituting that lol with a "Now that's funny".  More personal for sure.  You are trying to build attraction here and sure a good sense of humor is attractive, but come on.  To end almost every text with that is just lame.  For more text appeal, replace that lol at the end of a sentence with something that speaks more directly to him.  Every one sends a lol, but not everyone takes the time to type out something creative to take it's place.

It also shows that you aren't confident in yourself when you use it all the time.  If you have to tell a guy you are laughing, well it's sort of defeating the purpose. You don't trust yourself enough to trust him to know you are actually laughing in some cases.  It's more powerful  when texting guys to let him wonder a bit if you found something funny or not.  It makes him try harder.  It's more of a challenge.  To send a lol is like saying, you should like me, I laugh at your jokes.  Pick me!  I am in agreement with you sort of thing.
The lol does have it's purpose. It's a great way to end a texting session.  Ever get a lol and nothing more when texting a guy?  Not much you can reply to that is it?  Ending a texting conversation first is a good way to have more text appeal.  Leave him while the conversation is good and he will be wanting more.  The lol is perfect for this.

On the other hand if he texts you a lol, stop texting him period.  It's a cut off.  To keep texting seems just desperate and will deminish your text appeal fast. A lol sent and nothing else is like a period, the end.  It takes little effort and is often saved as a pre-written message.  The lmao is no different by the way.  Use it sparingly to keep your text appeal in tact. The use of lol is just one of the many tips to increase your textual attraction.