Should You Text a Guy First or Not?

Should you text a guy first or not? Of course it's not going to hurt anything to text him, except the way he views you that is. If you text him first, you will never really know if he was interested in you or not. If you text him first, well he sees you as available and he automatically knows you are into him. This is investing in him before he invests in you. Not a good idea. Men value what they have to work for. If you text him, well you just made it easy and decreased your value in his eyes.

When you text a guy first, you deprive him of the thrill of the chase and you don't get to experience that excitement you feel when he texts you first.  

Ask yourself this question. Is he stressing about if he wants to text or call you? I seriously doubt it. Is he asking his buddies should he text you, should he call you? Probably not. Guys just don't really do that. Their time table is different. A day to us seems like forever, but to them it's nothing. If you text him first you are not trusting him that he will contact you first. Guys need to feel trusted in their ability to lead.  If you lead for him, you just killed that.

You see when you text him first, it can come across as controlling.  A big downfall of many women is that they don't trust the guy to lead, and they take over and start doing the pursuing.  This feels like control to a guy and it causes them to lose interest.  

When you start texting a guy who is not texting you first you might as well wave a flag that says "pick me, pick me". How attractive is that? It's always best to mirror his level of commitment. If he is texting you, sure text him back, but if he is not, step away from the phone. Be patient. If you are asking all your girlfriends "Should I text him first", stop. Think long term satisfaction, instant gratification is short lived.

A few weeks ago I went out with my best single girlfriend. She met this great guy. He seemed so into her. They had an amazing connection. They danced, talked, laughed and at the end of the night he got her number. Hmmmm, what happened, he didn't call. Three days later she calls me and asks, "should I text him?" My answer, "No".

Now 10 days go by. She held firm to my advice. Guess what? Yep, he texted her and called. Men are getting used to being texted by women. They are getting used to women doing their work for them because so many women act on their insecurities and fall into this trap. When you do his job for him, you fall into masculine energy.  It's Feminine Energy that attracts men!

Texting a Guy First is Masculine Energy

When a woman is not so anxious he finds her more attractive. He thinks this one is different, she doesn't have to chase me. Perhaps someone is chasing her. Competitiveness will drive a man into action. Think about how he views you next time you ask the question, should I text him first. Never ever text a guy first especially in the early days. Let him enjoy the chase, it's what they do.

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Texting Men - Attitude Is The Key

You wonder how attitude plays into calling men or texting. It does a lot. I can't tell you how many times I have been asked the question "He hasn't called me in days, should I call him, should I text him, maybe he thinks I am not interested". The answer is, no you should not call him, no you should not text him. The truth here is a man who is into you will call you and he will text you on a regular basis. If he doesn't well here is where the attitude comes in.

Your attitude should be the "Next" attitude. If he isn't calling, texting. keep your options open and go onto the next guy. You are way more valuable than this. You are the prize. If he can't manage a simple phone call, well down the road what is it going to be like? Once you adapt and believe this attitude, you won't really care so much if a man calls or not. You will never be sitting by the phone waiting or depending on it again. When it comes to calling men, remember sister, it's all about you. You shouldn't be calling men, they should be calling you period, end of discussion. A man that is into you will be calling and texting. If he is not consistent in his calling and texting, chances are good you are just an option. Don't call him. You are better than that. You aren't desperate.

Once you adapt the right attitude, men seem to know this. They sense it. It makes you more desirable when you aren't making him the center of your world. A funny thing starts to happen. Men start calling more. If a guy doesn't call you and you reach out to him you are doing the heavy lifting. You are telling him you are willing to invest more into him than he has to invest into you. If you are having to lead the relationship and initiate most of the calls and texts, well something is seriously wrong. Rarely will calling men get you anywhere.

There are many calling/texting men rules, but if you have the right attitude, that's really all you will need. I am not waiting by the phone for any man attitude. I am not making any man a priority when he is only making me an option attitude. Whatever you do, don't start calling men or texting men first. It takes away the chase and you steal his fun. If he is not calling you or texting you, no excuses. Excuses are what we make when we want to think of a logical reason why he isn't calling. Trust me, there rarely is one. Get busy and forget about him.

When He Calls and Texts But Doesn't Ask You Out

If you have a guy who is calling and texting you but not asking you out or making plans to see you, it's confusing to say the least. I mean, why on earth would he be calling if he doesn't want to spend time with you. The answer is simple. He doesn't see you as a priority, just an option. Guys will call and text girls just enough to keep them interested.

He may have other girls that he is interested in, but wants to keep you on the back burner. He may like you, I mean he has to think something of you if he is calling and texting, but the key is, he doesn't think enough of you. If he thought more of you, he would be asking you out.

The guy that keeps you on that back burner has a few tricks also. He may even ask you to spend some time with him, but if you notice, he always has an escape route planned in the form of using words like, "maybe", "I'll let you know", anything that he can call up later to back out or make an excuse.

Think about it. When have you had a guy that you likes a little, but weren't that into so you just kind of strung him along. You used those escape routes when he wanted to pin you down to a date. You might say something like, maybe, I will let you know, and then throw out some excuse about work or whatever.

The bottom line though, if a guy is calling and texting and not asking you out, he is not pursuing a relationship with you. He isn't serious. This doesn't mean he won't change his mind, but as long as you are waiting on his call, hoping he will step up, you are wasting energy. There are ways to handle these texts and calls to get him to step it up, but waiting around on him isn't going to work.

Learn how to turn calls and texts into more and escalate your love life.

When He Tells You to Call or Text Him - What It Means

Those two words, "call me", or "text me", can screw with your head. If you like the guy, of course you want to believe this means he is interested in you and really wants you to call or text him. You may be thinking he wants you to call so he can make a date. Call me is what guys say often when ending a conversation. It's about the same as, talk to you later or see you around. It's usually said casually and you can bet if a guy says this, you don't have his interest sparked. So what do you do, should you call or text a guy if he asks?

When a guy says call me, usually it means he may find you attractive and if you call he may talk to you, but it's not something a guy says to a girl who he is very very interested in. If a guy is really interested, he won't ask you to call him or text him, he will be calling or texting you. The only exception to this is if you have been dating for a good while and he asks you to call him. If you have just met or started dating though, he is far from hooked on you yet.

A lot of women take this "call me" literally. They latch on and start calling and texting the guy. This makes them the one doing the pursuing. It tells the guy that you are way more invested into him than he is in you. He sees a woman ready to put the girlfriend crown on and often this causes him to stop all contact and run for the hills.

When a guy says call me, what he usually wants from you is not much. He can live with or without your call or text. If you do call or text, you will be setting yourself up as a girl on the back burner. That's what guys do with the girls that do the calling for the most part. They don't see them as a challenge and no challenge means you won't be girlfriend material more than likely.

If a guy really wants to get to know you, he will be the one doing the calling and texting, he won't be asking you to call him. When a guy tells you to call, the best thing you can do is don't. Let him wonder why you aren't so into him. This makes you more of a challenge and more attractive in his eyes. Less is more when it comes to calling men.

Texting a Man You Like a Lot

You finally met a man you really like. You hope he feels the same way. You instinctively want to reach out and touch him. What would it hurt to send a man a short little text, let him know you are interested.

Well slow down sister. If you gave him your number, he should know you are interested. When texting a man you really like, you might want to think about the texts you send to the men you really aren't all that interested in. Have you ever experienced a man you weren't that into being really into you. Why was that? How did you text him?

Chances are, you didn't always text him back or waited before you text because you really didn't care about the outcome. Oh but boy oh boy, now you like a man and you do care about the outcome. A huge reason why these other men were into you is because you were a bit hard to get. Men instinctively want what they can't have. So in essence, when texting a man you like, text him like you don't.

I am not saying you should play games here. Just don't be over eager, or don't be too available. Men value what they work hardest for. Don't answer instantly, that makes it look like you are waiting by the phone and have no life. Don't text him first, this shows him are starting to invest into him. Let him lead. Let him invest first.

It's tempting sometimes to get into the all day marathon of texting a man you like, but try to refrain, save that for when the relationship is more established. You want to give him a reason to see you. If you spill all in texting conversations, he won't be as motivated to see you. If you see your texting with a man heading into the marathon, cut it off. Tell him you have something to do and you will talk to him later. Be the first one to end the conversation. Leave him wanting more.

Less is always more when texting men. You want to be fun and mysterious. Men love the woman they can't quite figure out. Texting is fun and if done right, can build a huge level of attraction in him for you.

Why You Shouldn't Text with a Guy All Day

Other than the obvious that you are getting nothing accomplished what does it hurt to have one of those marathon texting adventures with a guy? You are really connecting and it seems like he must really like you if he keeps texting, and that may very well be the case. Have you ever been in one of those marathons and he just cut if off, or stopped replying? There is no mystery, no allure in an all day texting marathon. He knows he has you hooked. He also may get the clue that you don't have much of a life.

When texting a guy, less really is more. It's best to save something for later. Leave him wanting more. Be the first to exit the conversation. If you are texting a guy all day, he is eventually going to get bored. He is also going to see you as very available. You don't want him to see you this way, guys love a challenge. When texting a guy, go back and forth a few times and stop.

When texting guys, remember this, often they are testing you. They want to see how into him you are. If you will go along with his all day marathon, he knows you are really into him. This tells him you are pretty easy. It makes you a good target as a back up girl. Ever been texting a guy all day and then a few weeks later he rarely is in any contact at all. Had you slowed it down and made him work harder from the beginning the chances are fewer that he will vanish later down the road.

Constantly texting a guy is not attractive. At the moment if feels good. You are getting instant gratification. Wouldn't you rather have long term satisfaction. When texting a guy, keep this satisfaction goal in the back of your mind, always.

To Text Him Or To Sext Him

Texting a guy or sexting a guy, what is the difference? Pretty obvious I guess. Texting is just exchanging conversation, sexting is taking it to an entirely other level. If you are sexting with a guy, you are talking dirty or giving off sexual vibes.

Now both can be fun, but be careful here. If you just met the guy and you want a relationship, sexting him can be deadly. Yes it will get his attention and spark his interest, no doubt. He will probably blow your phone up to be honest, but is this what you want? You are going to get instant gratification, but if you want long term satisfaction, hold off on the sexting until you have him hooked. Stick to texting him.

Once you start sexting, it is almost impossible to turn it around. He is going to see you as an easy target if you just started dating. Texting can enhance your dating life and you can use it to draw him in, but be careful not to send out the wrong signals.

There are many signals your texting can send out, like you are too available, you are easy, you are desperate, etc.

To learn to use this tool in sexting and texting click here.