Monday, July 18, 2011

He Never Texts Me First

He never texts me first.  Why is this do you think?  If you are seeing a guy and you text him and he always answers, all if good and well right?  Well if he never texts you first, no all is not good and well.  First think I want to ask you is why are you texting a guy who isn't texting or initiating texting with you first?  Are you trying to control the outcome to some degree.  Maybe hoping he will ask to see you if you remind him you are still there.  I call it holding His hand, trying to have some control as to where the relationship goes.  In reality you are not helping yourself by texting him first everyday.  Long term he is going to disappear.

If you are saying to your girlfriends, He never texts me first, chances are you aren't giving him a chance.  You wake up, try to make it until lunch time without hearing from him and your knee jerk reaction is to seek some instant gratification.  You reach for your phone and send that first text.  You become predictable and predictable I must tell you equals boring.  Not to mention you aren't giving him a chance to lead the relationship.  Men instinctively want to lead.  You are depriving him of this by texting him first.

Do you want him to text you first?  If you do, stop texting him for a few days.  Even if you have to sit in silence.  If you have been texting him first all the time, he will notice when you stop.  Give his mind time to let your absence sink in.  A man falls in love in your absence, not your presence.  A man's imagination is the best weapon you have for getting his attention.  Let him wonder why you stopped texting him first.  If he is into you and really likes you, he will reach out soon enough, but you have to be patient and focus on that long term satisfaction and get you mind off of instant gratification.

If a man isn't texting you and you are always texting him first, back up Sista, you are going to send him running for the hills soon enough if you don't stop.  Guys will keep girls around as back up.  You want to make sure you aren't just a back up girl and you won't know this if you keep on initiating by texting him first.  You are actually giving him control by texting him first and putting yourself out of control.

Another thing to consider if he never texts you first is perhaps he really isn't that into you to start with.  You might want to stop now and evaluate the relationship and if and how you can turn this around and have him chasing you instead of you chasing him.  Men really do like the chase, but they aren't going to just get rid of a girl because she chases.  He will keep her around as an option while he finds another to chase.

If you are complaining as to why he never texts you first, don't always place the blame on the guy, the blame may very well be with you and the role of pursuer that you have chosen to play.  Do you know what really makes guys tick and what causes them to attach?  It's not you texting him first I assure you. 

You can use texting to take you relationships to higher levels.  It's not all in what you do, but often in what you don't do with your text messages.  You can learn to be textually attractive with a few changes in words, actions and techniques of your texting.  Do you know about Text Appeal?

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