Monday, July 18, 2011

When He Never Texts First

he never texts first

When he never texts first, it makes a girl wonder doesn't it. I mean he answers you so all must be well.  Still, something feels off if you are the one doing all the work and there is a good reason it feels this way.

Do you wonder what would happen if you stopped texting him, but at the same time, in the back of your mind it scares you.  You think if you don't text him, he may just stop texting you?   I call it holding His hand, trying to have some control as to where the relationship goes.  In reality you are not helping yourself by texting him first everyday.

If he never texts first chances are you aren't giving him a chance.  You wake up, try to make it until lunch time without hearing from him and your knee jerk reaction is to seek some instant gratification.  You reach for your phone and send that first text. 

You become predictable and predictable I must tell you equals boring.  Not to mention you aren't giving him a chance to lead the relationship.  Men instinctively want to lead.  You are depriving him of this by texting him first.

By not allowing him space to lead the relationship, you are in essence trying to control it.  Men and control aren't a good mix.  This is when guys start losing attraction, yet can't put their finger on why.  You may get a it's not you, it's me excuse. 

You are also doing his job for him.  You are stepping into the masculine role when you text him first.  If he never texts first, it's because he doesn't have to.  When a woman steps into his role, he becomes uninspired.

If a man isn't texting you and you are always texting him first, back up, you are going to send him running for the hills soon enough if you don't stop.  Guys will keep girls around as back up.  You want to make sure you aren't just a back up girl and you won't know this if you keep on initiating by texting him first.  You are actually giving him control by texting him first and putting yourself out of control.

Another thing to consider if he never texts you first is perhaps he really isn't that into you to start with.  You might want to stop now and evaluate the relationship and if and how you can turn this around and have him chasing you instead of you chasing him.  Men really do like the chase, but they aren't going to just get rid of a girl because she chases.  He will keep her around as an option while he finds another to chase.

If you are complaining as to why he never texts first, don't always place the blame on the guy, the blame may very well be with you and the role of pursuer that you have chosen to play.  Do you know what really makes guys tick and what causes them to attach?  It's not you texting him first I assure you.

You texting first is masculine energy and guys fall in love with feminine energy, not masculine.  How many other areas of the relationship are you carrying the load with your masculine energy.

You can use texting to take you relationships to higher levels.  It's not all in what you do, but often in what you don't do with your text messages.  You can learn to be textually attractive with a few changes in words, actions and techniques of your texting.

If you haven't checked out Text the Romance, it can turn your relationship from boring to spicy with just a few text messages delivered at the right time.

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